Now What?
Okay so you’ve made the decision to adopt through your state’s foster care system. First thing is to come to grips with the fact that first you will be a foster parent. Now put whatever that means to you aside and begin to accept that this is a process. You will need to connect with/and be certified/approved/sanctioned by your local Department of Social Services or private foster/adoption agency.
A couple things to consider, thing one, when you make the call pay attention to how they respond. Did you talk to a machine, if so how long before a human being returned your call? Did the person seem interested after you informed them that you want to adopt? How did you feel after the conversation? These are important things to consider. If you feel like your getting the run around or that you are being patronized or dismissed you probably are. That’s good to know up front. If they treat you poorly as an inquiry know that it won’t get any better later.
Now that you’ve figured out what the procedure is and where you will be certified/approved/cleared/trained this is the beginning of the indoctrination into the “foster care head.” The “foster care head” is a belief system that foster care agencies use to make the disposal of children palpable. It’s ”the deal” the money back garantee, the return to sender policy that makes foster care a sad never never land for multi-abandoned and re-re-rejected children. It is a necessary tool when baby sitting is sold as “parenting.” The good news is this is not a terminal condition and FCH can be cured and is often reversable if caught early. With deligence and chutzpah FCH can be combated and dare I say overcome. Don’t forget that parents don’t reject their children when the work begins. And for the record, the chaos is what you’re signing up for when you choose to bring traumatized children into your home. Promise me you’ll try to remember that you came forward to be a part of the solution not just another pot hole in the road to good intentions.
To be continued….
